Rules. I have them.

8 Nov

It should come as no surprise that I have a lot of neurotic rules, and that I feel Very Strongly about them. Mostly they center around governing the behavior of others in public. There’s no penalty for breaking my rules other than making me an odd mix of uncomfortable and indignant that you don’t understand How Things Work. For example, I feel very strongly about the way that people should load into an elevator.

I also feel strongly about bus seats. All empty seats should be filled in of course, I don’t want anyone to be standing if there’s a seat. I’m crazy, not cruel. However, they should be filled in an every-other fashion, making sure to secure each seat NOT next to another person before picking a seat directly next to a filled one. This is just good sense for the comfort of all. Let’s face it, Americans are pretty large  now. I’m pretty sure the standard bus seat was last measured for 50 years ago. Those bitches be narrow.

So cut to this morning when I’m on the bus.

Since I was leaving earlier than normal, the bus was surprisingly empty. Always quite the treat for crazy people with rules no one knows about. So I settle in. Then two girls (clearly together) enter. And ruin my day.

See, we’re breaking two very important rules here. One, as you can see here, Girl 2 sat right. next. to. me. On a nearly empty bus. Right up on me. Two, why sit apart when you’re together? Now, I feel like I’m a part of your (loud, inappropriate) conversation. I can move to one of six frillion empty seats. If I do that, though, it’s quite apparent what I’m doing. I can’t play it off as anything else. I just made it very public that I do not want to sit next to you. I try to reserve that for visibly sick people or unbearable odors. So instead, I have to take a few deep breaths, drink my coffee, try to zone out. Rise above.

It’s difficult being so right all the time.

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2 Responses to “Rules. I have them.”

  1. momentsofexhilaration November 8, 2011 at 10:28 pm #

    Oh my god, yes! I feel like people are usually pretty good about standing in the elevator appropriately, so I hadn’t really thought about that one before. But, god, the bus! Why do people do that?? Love it 🙂

    • Cally November 9, 2011 at 7:43 am #

      I guess I’ve just had one too many people stand right next to me on an empty elevator. And as I sit on the bus currently, another person sat next to me even though there was an abundance of empties. Just one of those behaviors I’ll never understand, I guess.

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