Five Irrational Fears That Keep Me Up At Night

11 Dec

1. Flying – I really don’t consider this an irrational fear. I think it’s perfectly rational to be afraid of being locked in a tube and thrown across the sky. However, other people tell me it’s irrational. Particularly people who have to fly with me. (Sorry, Husband.) I think it’s how intensely I feel the fear. In fact, we’re going on vacation in February, and I’m already afraid of the plane ride. At four hours, it will be the longest plane ride I’ve had to take, and I’m terrified. Typing about it has increased my heart rate and made me shaky and clammy. When I actually have to get on the plane I can’t breathe and I start to cry. I can’t relax, I basically sit vigilantly and will the plane to stay afloat. People keep telling me to drink before flights, but I really don’t think they want me to go there. That would not end well.

2. Open windows – I can’t sleep if a window is open. I can’t leave the house if a window is open. When I was younger, I would wake up in the middle of the night and shut all the windows in our house. Which was particularly annoying to my father, who would then go around and open them. And so on, and so on. I was apparently never easy to live with. I don’t blame him though, we didn’t have air conditioning. I do fear people will come in through the window, yes. I also fear the dogs will jump out the window. I live on the third floor. My dogs are not dumb, they’re not looking to take any freefalls. But this is a deep-rooted one that I’m not likely to shake anytime soon.

3. El Train Tracks – I love the mass transit system here. It’s very convenient. However, I live in constant fear someone is going to push me onto the train tracks and I will be electrocuted on the third rail. I take care to stand exactly in the middle of the platform. If I can put a pillar behind me, I do. And I wait for the train to come so I can stop being so nervous waiting for it.

4. Sleeping alone – This may be the one actually keeping me up at night. I’ve never lived alone. I lived at home until 18, roommates at college until 22, moved in with Husband right after. I don’t think I’ve had to go more than a few days in a row without someone else in the house/apartment. Sometimes Husband works overnight shifts, and I go a little crazy. Once I put the block of kitchen knives next to the bed. Except I thought I’d end up stabbing myself. So now I drag things in front of the door like it’s Home Alone. Never mind the two large dogs with their pointy teeth and protective nature. But that tiny folding table, hooboy, that’ll keep the riffraff out.

5. Bridges – Similar to El Train tracks, I do feel that someone may push me off the side of the bridge, or possibly push me into traffic. However, bridges come with the added fun of your car possibly plunging off one when you’re driving over. I think I… read something, or saw an infomercial somewhere (possibly for this) that told me if I ever sunk in a car I’d be screwed because the window wouldn’t work, and I wouldn’t be able to break it on my own. So when driving over bridges, I’m pretty focused on that. Further, I’m also waiting for them to collapse. And please don’t even make me think about the bridges all over this city. I basically hold my breath the entire time I have to walk over one.


One Response to “Five Irrational Fears That Keep Me Up At Night”


  1. The freaks come out… all the time « Older - December 18, 2011

    […] of brain-eating amoebas even though I’ve never used a neti-pot, I’m frightened of open windows and bridges. He was quite scary looking, and he was doing a good job on his knife sharpening – I could […]

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