Ridiculous things I make my smart phone do for me

20 Dec

I rely on my phone for way too much.

I have an app that I use to log everything I eat. It’s really been helpful in weight loss. I had no idea how poorly I was eating until I was forced to log it all. I’m not really looking to lose anymore weight. However, the fact I just had to enter 4 servings of  delicious onion potato chips shows that I’m not quite ready to let go of my over reliance on my food tracker. Why can’t I just eat like a normal person and not have to dive for my phone every time I think about food? I don’t know, but that goal is to perhaps someday get to that point.

I also have apps to help me do insane amounts of push-ups and sit-ups. The point of this? I don’t know. Maybe I want to be able to go into a bar and bet someone that I can do 100 push-ups and get free drinks or something. The important part here is not why, it’s because I can. Being able to do 100 push-ups just seems like something that might come in handy some day.

I also downloaded a sleep tracker. What I really wanted was one of those super fancy pants ones where I could lay the phone on the bed and have it… track me… or something. I don’t know, I’m still vague on the details of the whole thing except that it’s fancy and I want it. (Sort of like fitbit.) Instead I found this free sleep tracker where I punch in when I go to sleep, punch out when I wake up. I am, of course, a sucker for historical data. Also charts and graphs, which this app has in spades. It’s not exactly telling me anything I don’t know. I don’t sleep enough during the week, I over sleep on the weekends. The best function is a “sleep debt” tally where it keeps track of how many hours under average I’ve slept a night, over the past two weeks. I currently owe myself like six hours of sleep. I don’t know why this is important to know, but I feel good knowing it.

The most ridiculous of all, however, is an app I downloaded to help me brush my teeth long enough. I know. I know! But I have no concept of time. I once timed myself (with my phone’s stopwatch function, of course) to see how long I thought was an appropriate time to brush my teeth. I took 43 seconds. I really thought I’d made it to two minutes. It made me… very sad to learn how poorly I’d been doing. So, I found this app. Why not just… use the stopwatch timer on my phone? The app makes adorable teeth brushing sounds and separates the job into zones, that’s why. And it dings every time I’m supposed to move into the next zone. And a happy little mouth smiles when I’m all done.

Yeah I’m five years old. What of it.

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One Response to “Ridiculous things I make my smart phone do for me”

  1. lipstickconfidence December 20, 2011 at 11:37 pm #

    I never put much thought to how a smartphone can completely run/track your life. So true and funny! I really appreciated this post.

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