Choose your battles

15 Jan

I got a long overdue haircut recently. It was during this time I came to a realization that I spend too much time and energy on things that don’t matter.
I know.
Shocking, right?
I don’t know exactly what it is about haircuts that makes me so damn nervous. I’ve gotten bad haircuts in the past, sure, but nothing so mortifying I had to hat it up for an extended period of time, or become a mole person. Nothing worth calling the National Guard for.
It’s a classic case of overthink, I know. I’m awkward enough in social situations in general, however when you factor in the money, the service, and my fragile emotional state reguarding my hair (which can possibly be traced to the time in sixth grade when I was told I was on the boy’s “list” for worst hair) and I just see so much that could go wrong.
What if I talk to them too much, they become distracted and ruin my hair?
What if I don’t talk enough, they think I’m an unfriendly bitch, and they cut my hair wrong out of spite?
What if I accidentally offend them and they inappropriately cut my hair as some sort of political statement?
What if they accidentally offend me and I can’t keep a poker face and they kick me out halfway through?
The whole situation seems fraught with peril. I normally rely on a combination of polite discourse and awkward silence, explained away by feigned long day/sleepiness. This time, however, I decided to go with chatty Cathy. I talked about everything. Anything. I asked tons of questions. I cracked inappropriate jokes.
My haircut is, quite possibly, one of the better I’ve had in a while. However, I did have to discuss the time my stylist gave the babies his guinea pig had to someone under the impression that they wanted them as a pet, but they ate them. His preference for level of body hair in dudes. (Mildly hairy.) The boyfriend from high school that didn’t want me to wear heels to prom. Gay men that are “too gay.” His sister’s semi abusive relationship.
I really don’t know that it was worth it. I might go back to quiet next time. Of course, I will now require a different stylist due to already setting a precedent with this one that I just can’t live up to.
Can you imagine how productive I’d be if I could devote all this brain power to a worthwhile cause?

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2 Responses to “Choose your battles”

  1. squirrel circus January 16, 2012 at 8:10 am #

    You could also apply those “what-ifs?” to getting a tattoo. I remember thinking similar things when I got mine. I went with mildly chatty — and was pleased with the results. 🙂

    • Cally January 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm #

      Funnily enough, I fretted less about getting my tattoo. Clearly I have awesome priorities.

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