30 Jan

I’m very neurotic and quiet, and I’ve definitely made my views on small talk known far and wide. I’ve tried very hard to perfect my blank, vaguely staring past you, closed-off stance so people don’t try to talk to me on the street. (Is there ever a good answer for “Do you have time for gay rights/the environment/abused animals?” If I say no, I’m a horrible person. If I say yes, I end up signing their petition and handing over all my money and probably being late back from lunch.) No matter how hard I try it doesn’t seem to work. It’s one of those things that I’m not sure if it’s exclusive to me, or happens to everyone and I just don’t see it.

We had a surprisingly nice day today, so I took the dogs for a walk in the park. As we were coming down the path, a man on a bike was coming towards us. He stopped his bike just in front of us and half hopped off. I made the mistake of stopping and looking back at him, because I was slightly confused.

“You’d better make sure you got a hold of those dogs there.”

*blink* *blink*

I look down. My leashes are firmly in my hands. One dog is quietly sniffing and the other is making adorable confused tilted face at the crazy man. I look back at him.

“You sure did shine ’em up good though, huh?”



*blink* *blink*

And he rides away.

I’m not even sure how you shine a dog.

Do other people get randomly accosted? Should I maybe stop walking about the city so much?


7 Responses to “Bwah?”

  1. Nikki January 31, 2012 at 8:15 am #

    This happens to me usually in 2 places: the grocery store and the gym. I had a random elderly fellow come up to me in the grocery store Sunday and try to initiate a full blown conversation about canned peaches. I didn’t want to be rude, but I really could offer no opinions on canned peaches.

    • Cally January 31, 2012 at 5:20 pm #

      I am interested to know what his stance on canned peaches was, yay or nay.

      • Nikki February 1, 2012 at 7:44 am #

        He was very pro-canned peaches, just for the record. Talking them up to me like he was a salesperson!

  2. squirrel circus January 31, 2012 at 9:37 am #

    About twice a year, I meet a certified crazy person downtown (not the same one every time, thankfully) and they tell me something about being operated on by a covert government program that put cameras in their head, recording their every move. I usually offer a heartfelt “Wow!”, wave at the “cameras”, and walk away.

    • Cally January 31, 2012 at 5:22 pm #

      That’s probably for the best. Acknowledge and move on quickly. In usually thrown off and end up standing there while they keep going and give me a tinfoil hat.

  3. The Waiting January 31, 2012 at 10:26 am #

    The worst is when you’re on the train/bus and you’re cornered. So awkward. And even if you’re reading, listening to an iPod, AND talking on your phone at the same time, it makes no difference. They still come.

    • Cally January 31, 2012 at 5:21 pm #

      It’s good to know I’m not alone though. It does happen to others, I just don’t see it when it does.

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