You people are all pissing me off

2 Feb

I know I can be a little bit bossy. I know I’m the kind of person who tells people that they shouldn’t be putting their Gladwear container lids in the microwave, or putting straws into the hot drinks at Starbucks. Killjoy stuff like that is my forte. I like to follow the rules and I like to make you aware you should be doing the same. I’m trying to keep a lid on it, honest. In fact I watched someone at lunch screw their container top on tight before throwing it in the microwave, and I didn’t say a thing. I’m growing.

We really need to have a talk about something though. You know all your blazers, suit coats, pea coats, pencil skirts? You know how those all have slits in the back, typically to accommodate for the fact that people are mobile?

You know how none of you are cutting those temporary stitches that hold those flaps closed, and you’re just walking around out in the world, oblivious to this? Well, you’re about three seconds from having me on your ass with a pair of nail scissors. Seriously. I really wish I were joking but the overabundance of you who fail to do this is driving me to consider drastic measures. Clearly me just saying something has weirded enough of you out that I’m afraid I’m going to end up on a website that tracks this sort of thing.

Do you really think that the designer went out of their way to make a garment, build in and finish the back panel slit, and then hastily stitch it shut with a large, ugly basting stitch? Half the time the thread doesn’t even match. You. Look. Ridiculous. Do you also not notice the fact it twists and puffs out, giving you much more junk than you’ve typically got in your trunk? Look, I don’t know exactly why they feel the need to shut up that vent. Maybe it’s like how they sew the pockets shut so nothing gets caught up in them during shipping or whatever, but just like the pockets it’s your duty to remove your temporary stitching and wear your clothes in a way that doesn’t drive me up the wall.

You didn’t know they were sewing your pockets shut, did you?

I think we need to take a break from each other.

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4 Responses to “You people are all pissing me off”

  1. The Waiting February 2, 2012 at 12:24 pm #

    Ah! This drives me nuts too! You are most certainly not alone. We should start a campaign.

    • Cally February 2, 2012 at 5:27 pm #

      Like air some PSAs, maybe a few radio spots?

  2. squirrel circus February 6, 2012 at 10:00 am #

    YES!!! I have totally seen those people.

    On a related note…have you ever failed to realize that you had a pocket….because it was sewed completely shut…OR ripped a useless hole in something thinking it DID have a pocket. I’ve done both. Just checking.

    • Cally February 8, 2012 at 2:14 am #

      I have ripped holes on things thinking they were sewn shut pockets, yes. Because WHY make a pocket that isn’t going to be a real pocket? That’s nonsense of the highest order.

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