Morning Inner Monologue

22 Mar

Okay. I’m late. I’m pretty late but I’m here and not so late that I’m going to be late for work, just Cally-late in that I will only be about five minutes early. This does not need to ruin my day. It’s super nice out and I have a pretty dress on and today is going to be a good day. A. Good. Day.

Seriously? Seriously. Look at that girl. She would seriously walk up the minute I’m feeling happy with myself and talking about oh I’m just going to have such a good day and I’m just so pretty. Look at her dress. And her hair. She was probably getting ready before I was even up this morning. She is probably nowhere near sort of late. And her shoes. Those are so high. What are those called? I can never wear shoes like that. I never know how they match with anything with the brown part. (Note: She was wearing a killer pair of espadrilles. You do not want to know the combination of gibberish I had to type into Google to get that.) I used to have a pink and green pair of shoes like that in college but I only ever wore it with that pink shirt. That isn’t coordinating an outfit, that’s just knowing that pink and pink are the same color.

I really like her belt. I should wear more belts. Again I don’t know how to wear them though. I really wish someone would nominate me to go on What Not To Wear so I can get new clothes and be told how to make outfits. I just don’t understand the point of belts if they’re not holding up your pants. But then again it’s not like a necklace is holding up my shirt, and I wear those. That’s it, I’m buying more belts. I wonder where she got hers. Oh, no.

Oh no. There’s a spot on her belt. What is that, paint? White paint? It’s so noticeable. Should I say something? Maybe if I say something we could try and get it off and then she’ll be happy I said something. I would be happy if someone told me something. She’s definitely the type who wants to have everything together. I mean look at her nails. What if we can’t get it off though? Would it ruin her day knowing it was there? I would be pretty pissed if I had to go through the day with a stain on me somewhere. It’s in the back. Maybe she’ll just go through her day and no one else will notice and then she’ll get home and never know. Or maybe someone in a better position will notice and tell her about it and then I don’t have to be the creeper who was all noticing her. I wish we could just come up with a system where everyone would agree it’s okay to tell people if they have a stain or to tuck in their tag if it’s sticking out or let them know if there’s something in their teeth. Why is this so difficult? I am nearly positive these are all things that, as a whole, we would want to know and yet there’s this huge barrier none of us can cross to let each other know when something is amiss.

Oh, thank goodness, the bus is here. I can get on the bus and not say anything and now I don’t have to debate this anymore.

Oh, good. She’s riding this bus.

Oh, good. She sat next to me.

Okay well I certainly can’t say something now, I mean I can’t be all like ‘Oh by the way I was checking out your backside earlier when we standing by the bus stop and you’ve got something on your belt.’ There’s no way in hell that’s not creepy.

Maybe I should just look out the window.


3 Responses to “Morning Inner Monologue”

  1. squirrel circus March 22, 2012 at 12:05 pm #

    How do you know she wasn’t checking you out the whole time and then sat next to YOU on purpose? It might not be too late to give yourself the once over and make sure YOU’RE not sporting any stains that she might have been staring at! šŸ™‚

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