Duncan Hines Frosting Creations

16 Apr

I have one thing to say to Duncan Hines.

Cut this shit out.

It’s unnatural. What does “frosting base” even mean? If it just vanilla frosting? Because, that’s super easy to make. Literally, no one can mess up buttercream frosting. Butter. Powdered Sugar. Milk. Vanilla extract. Stirstirstir. TA DA. DELICIOUS FROSTING.

And the flavor packets? What the fuck are those? Kool-aid? I see two things wrong with this. First, I can’t imagine that stirring Kool-aid into room temperature frosting will dissolve it and keep me from dealing with grainy frosting. And if you do have some magic the has extra dissolving powers, I don’t want anything to do with that. I especially don’t want to eat it because I have a sneaking suspicion it will dissolve my organs. I need those to eat food that is not your crappy frosting.

Secondly, you know what’s more delicious than powered chocolate? Real chocolate. Additional, frosting should not taste like cotton candy or bubble gum. It just shouldn’t. If I want cotton candy or bubble gum, I’ll get some. It’s just too weird and I can’t accept it. I hope no one buys this nonsense so I can stop seeing your stupid commercials that activate my gag reflex.

Seriously, people. Would you rather eat butter, sugar, milk, and extract; or would you rather eat cellulose gel, gum acacia, maltodextrin and soy lecithin?

Get your own ingredients. Make frosting. It’s a million times better than anything that could ever come from a can. Further, you can make extra and no one will know when you go at it with a spoon, because you’ll still have enough for your cake.


4 Responses to “Duncan Hines Frosting Creations”

  1. scpardieck13 April 16, 2012 at 11:37 am #


    • Cally April 16, 2012 at 5:43 pm #

      I’m glad I’m not alone. The whole idea just squicked me out.

  2. The Waiting April 16, 2012 at 11:48 am #

    This goes for so many other foods too. Why the heck would anyone want to eat disgusting engineered processed food when they could take 18 seconds and just make the real thing, which also tastes roughly 1000 times better?

    • Cally April 16, 2012 at 5:44 pm #

      Exactly. And I’m not saying we all need to be chefs and make it all from scratch, but when something is *so* easy and the pay off is *so* worth it, it just doesn’t make sense to do it any other way.

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