I apologize for my lack of helpfulness in the following searches that have apparently brought you here

21 May

I really, really enjoy seeing the random search terms that bring people to all our blogs. It’s just sort of hilarious to wonder why people searching for some of these things end up clicking on me, especially because half of the time I’m nearly positive I’m on page seven hundred of the search. So, misguided reader, I apologize that I wasn’t more helpful when you sought my assistance on these topics.

Bored wife, wife is bored – I have a feeling you mean in the bedroom. I cannot help you. I don’t discuss other people’s boring sex. Call me when you heat it up again.

You people are pissing me off – I know. I hate everyone too. But searching about it on the internet isn’t going to bring a solution. I suggest hermitude. Or drinking in the mornings.

How do i know if my australian shepherd is wagging his tail? – Don’t cut it off. If it’s too late for that, I guess his butt should wiggle. Mine still has a tail and his butt wiggles like nobody’s business when he’s happy.

In an every other fashion – I’m not sure why someone would search this in general. It’s like I have used this phrase, because I like to pretend I’m fancy, but I don’t think I provided any information on it when I did use it.

npd are just assholes – I also don’t know what this means, but I’m sure I wasn’t helpful with whatever it was.

Living with grandiose delusions –  Just give into them. I seem to be doing fine. Just yesterday Madonna sent me a message through my television to tell me how well I was doing with everything.

all pissing – Please don’t come back. Please.

 

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6 Responses to “I apologize for my lack of helpfulness in the following searches that have apparently brought you here”

  1. The Waiting May 21, 2012 at 2:14 pm #

    I love these. The syntax of search queries is hilarious. The ones that are complete sentences crack me up.

    • Cally May 22, 2012 at 6:46 am #

      I know! It always makes me want to type sentences into Google to see what I come up with. And maybe click some blogs and amuse some owners.

  2. Nikki May 21, 2012 at 7:50 pm #

    Hilarious! I love the you people are really pissing me off!

    • Cally May 22, 2012 at 6:47 am #

      Why would you ever search that? Does this person just talk to Google?!

      • The Waiting May 22, 2012 at 7:43 am #

        I know I’ve talked to Google before. Then I went to therapy.

      • Cally May 22, 2012 at 9:15 am #

        I guess I never knew Google was such an awesome conversationalist. Makes sense, I use it for everything else so why not.

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