“I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love”

23 Jul

I’m starting to feel… isolated. A touch lonely, maybe? I need to make some friends here, but it’s really frustrating how awkward and difficult it is to make friends past the age of 13.

There’s probably a reason most of the friends I have are from middle or high school. I’m just not sure how people get to know people outside of school settings. I made friends at my old office by tagging along on happy hours, but I never saw those people outside of work or happy hours. So, work friends. In my new office, there are far fewer people. And they all seem pretty compartmentalized. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone being friends with anyone.

I have two sister-in-laws here, who are both fun people. One has two kids, one sort of intimidates me. None of us are on the level where I would dial one of them up to head to the mall. Possibly only because I am so awkward that I can’t imagine calling anyone up to hang out other than friends who I’ve known nearly 15 years. What do you say? It feels like asking them out on a date. I don’t handle rejection well. Ask anyone who knew me from 8th through 10th grade.

It’s part over-thinking it, part shyness, and part just knowing that I am a semi-offensive personality and easily come off wrong to a lot of people. I make fun of everything, and I have a wicked mean sense of humor. Lots of people don’t “get me,” which is fine, because I’ve tried stamping down that part of my personality and it only leaves me with a bunch of people I don’t want to hang out with because I feel fake and it’s exhausting being around them.

I run into the same girl on the train nearly every day, she gets off and on the same stops I do. She dresses cute, we have a few friendly words. I’ve become so desperate for human interaction I actually thought about trying to strike up purposeful conversations/a friendship with her. Probably she’d think I was hitting on her. Which is why I won’t be doing that any time soon.

Chatting up the girl on the train clearly isn’t the way to friendship (more like the way to a restraining order), but what is?

*Bonus points to whoever can tell me where the quote for the title to this post comes from.


6 Responses to ““I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love””

  1. The Waiting July 23, 2012 at 11:17 am #

    I so, so feel you. It is impossible to meet friends once you get to be a certain age. Since we moved to bumblefrick last year, I have managed to make one friend in my town, a girl I randomly met in Target when I was preggo. She had an infant and I asked her a random question about her sling. We ended up exchanging info and now we get together and talk babies. But that’s ALL we have in common. And I can only handle talking babies for about 15 minutes, tops.

    Maybe try meetup.com? I tried it but there are so few people in my town with my interests that I kind of gave up.

    • Cally July 23, 2012 at 8:13 pm #

      I should look into meetup. It feels a little like computer dating for friendships, but this is 2012. I do everything online. I need to get over it. Also, if I met someone randomly in Target, I do not think it would go well.

  2. The Pink Growl July 23, 2012 at 8:49 pm #

    making friends can be so hard, especially in a new place. Do you want me to just pack up and move down there??? 🙂

    • Cally July 23, 2012 at 9:05 pm #

      Yes, that will do. Then we can have dog play dates. I’m pretty sure Tilly will rule them all.

  3. Sarah P July 25, 2012 at 1:06 am #

    Definitely empathizing with this right now as we’re in a new spot. I agree that meetup is a great option. I’m also going to link up with a runner’s club and we’re hunting for a church here which is where I’ve often met cool people (although there are a lot of duds on that end too…). What about local dog parks? Dogs are good convo starters.

    • Cally July 25, 2012 at 6:50 am #

      Can you believe every time we’ve gone to a dog park here, it’s been basically empty? I think it might just be too hot now? Moving is hard.

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